I think that my mom treats Ayden better than she's ever treated me. Especially now.

She was at my house Wednesday night doing laundry and I was helping her watch Ayden because Rene was at work and my aunt Dora is too sick to help watch him while my mom does it. So.. she's in the kitchen cooking, and Ayden was running up to the stove and I scooped him up and brought him into the living room and plopped his little butt on the couch. He was mad, of course, he's two.. he wants to do whatever he wants, Lol.

My mom came rushing in there after me and she's like..

"Don't you EVER do that to him again."

I'm like.. "Say what?! All I did was bring him in from the kitchen away from the DANGEROUS stove and into the living room to watch cartoons. Whatever."

I let it drop, but it really fucked me up. My mom used to be really terrible to me, physically, mentally, emotionally.. She still is sometimes. Watching her around Ayden, she acts like he is HER kid, he is HER precious little angel. She lets him get away with whatever he wants! She does not reprimand him like she should.

She constantly keeps an eye on him, constantly.. I mean it, she won't leave him alone for 2 minutes before checking in on him. There was nothing for him to get into at my house. It's pretty kid proof, except for the stove of course. Which.. I was trying to keep him out of there.

He cries about everything, screams when he doesn't get his way.. and my mom said. "Let him do it, I don't want to listen to him scream and cry."

No. Way. No. How.

I don't put up with missbehaving children. Yes, he's my Godson, I love him so much. I was there when he came home from the hospital, before he came out of Rene's belly and I helped in raising him up until almost 2 years of age. Which he is now.

You cannot let a kid get their way because they'll throw a fit if they don't!

You cannot say, "I don't want to hear him/her cry, let them have what they want." It's irresponsible, and bad parenting. Rene disciplines him, Aunt Dora disciplines him. My mom lets him get away with murder so she doesn't have to hear him cry.

I haven't said anything to them about it, but I've ranted to Matt about it plenty.

It really hurt my feelings for my mom to say that to me, hurt my feelings even more watching her coddle him every second of the day like he is HER baby.

I'm afraid of having children and letting her watch them. I don't want spoiled brats for kids. I believe in punishing the act with a good spanking. Not beating, not screaming at them, but a good sound spanking on the butt. I'm afraid my mom won't care about my children like she does with Ayden. I'm afraid they will come in as second best. Ayden isn't her Grandchild. He's her nephew through Rene.

Are these fears soundly voiced? Am I wrong for feeling like I do? I sure don't think so. But who knows.. I don't have children of my own. I'm just there to watch them grow, right? To be the backup plan when things go wrong, or.. I don't know.. All I know is.. my feelings are hurt and I can't say shit because my mom will flip out and probably try to choke me again. I'm not wrong for not wanting to go through that again.